Ground Zero

Still in it. Still smelling the burning smell of metal.

On another note, I want to have Anberlin's latest album, New Surrender. Anyone want to sponsor me one?

The Crazy Weekend

Last weekend I went for two events - Firstly Nottingham Games (Duh, in Nottingham) and Socialism 2008 in London.

Well, Nottingham Games is basically an event which every Malaysia society in the UK gathered around and plays sports with each other. I participated in football 5-a-side (like futsal, but the goal post is way wider and lower). Lost three matches and drew one. The Nottingham team was really good. Practically they have a gala time shooting every 20 seconds and their shots are really accurate. Don't know who won the football league though. After losing, went to the dining hall and bought nasi lemak. It was just average but I ate it as if I haven't eaten for days. Too bad I didn't buy more.

The next day I went to London with my sore aching muscles. I had to force myself to wake up and for once I thought I'll never will. Reached ULU and met my good old friend, Chansey. We straight away went for a discussion about the Tiananmen Square uprising. There were many differing opinions about it. Actually, too many that it is useless to mention it here.

But what I found interesting was the talk about Marxist economics. Again, I won't dwell about what Marxist economics are and the weakness of Capitalism for the simple reason I don't think I have understood everything they said. However, I think that the speaker's statement about Capitalism is a never a stable concept rings true to me, taking into consideration about the economic recessions we have been experiencing in the past 10 years. I do not agree with everything they say, but I am really pleased that I have looked on both sides of the coin.

One thing that surprises me is that they made a lot of reference to Karl Marx. Imagine hearing bad things about Karl Marx all your life and suddenly you've heard something good about him. It felt weird, neither in a good or a bad way. In addition to that, I could feel that strong sense of glorifying the founding people of Socialism like Marx, Engel and Trotsky, plus the way they address each other as ‘comrades’.

When you come to think of it, it is amazing that the UK allowed them to have a socialist party in the first place. Try talking about socialism back home and I'll be labelled as a heretic. I am not defending socialism; it is just that we are so close-minded that we never really put it to thought what is socialism and what are their pros and cons.

Had a 'rally' at the end of the day, with some of their influential members talking around, mostly nasty shots towards the Labour Party and the need to have a left-wing party for the workers. They even had an anthem at the end of it. They raised their hands with their fists clenched, while I stood quietly as a sign of respect towards them (without the fist).

Later, Chansey and Steve sent me back to Euston Station because they feared about me walking alone at the middle of the night in London (Thanks and I'm sorry that you had send me to the Tube. I appreciate it though!!).

The Socialism 2008 was worth it even though now I’m suffering due to lack of sleep and rest. Lol.

Reading

It has been a week here in Reading for me. The past few days were really busy due to a lot of things that needed to be dealt with. People may find going to new places exciting but I'm doing this with some reservations, for the simple reason that this is not some a week or two holiday. I'm going to be here for the whole year, which may bring new and unforeseen challenges.

But the week has been really good for me. I managed to settle down quickly before the class starts and even settled the important stuffs within a few days. I even managed to go to the town centre for the weekend and tried shopping for some good decent hoodies/jackets, but to no avail (actually I found a good one, but it is really expensive when I translate it to Ringgit).

I found out that Brits are really social people, and they don't mind talking to strangers. Lol. I was paying for my stationeries at the counter when a man talked to me and said, "You're really lucky to be a student". He was referring to the 10% discounts I could get by showing my student card. I replied to him, saying that it was never too late to be one. He was like, "I love studying. You'll never stop learning till you die." I agreed. Later, he introduced himself as Lough and gave me a handshake, saying "Welcome to the UK". I walked out from the store and thought to myself, the Brits aren't bad after all. Of course there are those bad and stuck up ones, but I think generally if you are kind to them, they would do the same thing to you.

That's about it folks. Oh, there are a few pictures which I took over the weekend:

A picture at one of the canals there (I think).

This one is at a park by the name of Chestnut Walk (Oscar Wilde Memorial).

More pictures.

Forbury Gardens.

This statue is to commemorate the fallen British soldiers from the Berkshire area in World War II.

Pretty flowers (in Yuffie language)

Malay Dilemma: The Fencesitter's Point of View (Part II)

I personally think that it is unfair for me to talk about the Malays and continuously putting them under the microscope. Additionally, I think it is unfair for people to be wholly critical about the Malays without being critical to other races too. Too many a time people talk about the Malays but so little talk about the others. Therefore, this time I think I should talk about the others, primarily on the Chinese, since I am half-Chinese which I can relate myself to.

The Chinese are really hard working and resourceful people, thus explaining the fact that most tend to be successful.

There are generally two groups of Chinese. One is the understanding and tolerant group, and the other the really Chinese Chinese. These Chinese Chinese tend to mix with their own group, and mixing with others is a no-no. Like I've said in my previous entries, too many a time I've been unsuccessful to mix with them because I'm not Chinese enough or I'm tainted with non-Chinese blood, and the fact I can't speak Mandarin or other dialects. A friend of mine who is Malay, got shooed from learning Mandarin because he's not Chinese. I got scolded by an old Chinese man because I can't speak Mandarin, and got a lot of angry stares from them.

Additionally, a friend of mine who studied at a prestigious Chinese school told me that he always got mocked by his Mandarin teacher just because he can't read the language good enough. It was up to the point that he was mocked in front of his class as a 'foreigner', which is degrading when you are in that situation.

Facts will give you circumstantial evidence that they tend to click within their own group. According to Ong Ka Ting, which I've read in the Star, he mentioned that about 90% of Chinese studies in Chinese schools. That means a whole generation of Chinese students to mix with their own group, and when they grow up they only know to talk, live, and be Chinese, not Malaysians they are supposed to be.

I know that Chinese schools produce students with good grades, but why defining people according to race/language today? This is Malaysia, not pre-independence Malaya or China. The national language is Bahasa Malaysia, not Mandarin. Do not be surprised that there are people who can't even speak Bahasa Malaysia even though they are born and bred here.

That brings me to the recent uproar about the Malaysian being locked up in an immigration lock up for six months unlawfully because she could not remember her IC and she can't speak BM. The immigration buggers thought she was Sri Lankan. Yes, it is true that the Immigration department buggers did not do their job properly and did not bother to check her claims that she is a Malaysian. But please, after so long living here, can't she at least speak bahasa pasar? Even my grandmother who was an immigrant from China could speak decent BM. My goodness.

Another one was the recent visit by the former Indian president. He made a speech, the whole hall was full. And everyone clapped. More amazing is that there was a whole mob just to take pictures of him. Even after 50 years, there are still people who regard highly of India or China than our own country.

Sometimes I think that there is some tiny truth in Ahmad's comments, though his are really stupid and very racist in nature. The conservative Malay man will see that his race is being condemned by other races. Remember the Negarakuku song which made mockery of the azan and the Malays? Hindraf, which accuse that the Malays are committing a systematic genocide against the Indians (this point, I really doubt this)? Surely he would have thought, "If they can condemn my race, so do I."

My point is that when you started to allow one to pass racist statements without any punishment for it, then others will follow suit. Even though the Negarakuku songwriter apologised for his deeds, he should have not been spared just by an apology. He must face the law, which translates into just punishment. His sentence could be reduced since he apologised, but he still has to face the music. Now that he just got away with it, the impression now is that people can pass any statements without any fear of a backlash or punishment. What about freedom of speech? Singapore sues people who defame their leaders, and most of them ended up bankrupt. You'll end up in hot soup if you make bad statements about coloured people in US. Answer: there is a limit to freedom of speech.

Personally, I think it is hypocritical of these people to just pass comments about azan being too loud. You expect them to tone down, but on the other hand you allow scantily clad women to dance around the stage just to appease the “ghosts” during the hungry ghost festival with high volume. Roads are closed just to make way for these shows. Pglgh. Hypocrites. Thank god for the rising cost of fuel, or else these shows would still go on. Now at least they put cultural shows, which is way better than the former.

Once that race bashing starts, it's a cycle. Unless someone steps in and say "Stop, this is too much!" and punish them severely for their actions, I don't see the end of it.

Malays are another group too. Some still have the perception of non-Malays as pendatang. It has been more than 50 years; they should be shredding that mentality off. Malays must accept that they are Malaysians. Plus, most of the Malays here can originate their ancestry to Indonesia anyway. So they are not the indigenous people after all. The only real indigenous people here are the Orang Asli.

I really don’t know now. Everything seems wrong. Everyone hates the other race. We define ourselves by race and not nationality. It’s a big mess here. Who is going to clean it up? We can’t expect others to do the cleaning, because they will ask us for a price. We have to clean it up ourselves.

Warrgh! Banner

I'm just psychologically tired from all the worst case scenarios I'm facing now. You name it, I've been through it. And I have not even stepped my bloody foot on Reading yet.

Additionally, it doesn't help too when everyone is relatively screaming on my face.

What have we gotten ourselves into?

Can anyone agree with me on this point? Our politicians have been doing a lot of fucked up stuff, both the government and the opposition. Do you think that it is time to stop this crap and focus on more important issues like the economy, education and security?

Our economy is not doing well now due to the US sub-prime market. To top it off, our politics is so unstable that we are driving investors away. All because of one person so eager to be PM by asking MP's to jump ship. Oh, and a very weak PM.

Our kids are not interested in studying now because they don't understand what their teachers are trying to teach them. It's not the teachers fault - it is the systems' fault.

Just recently a lady got slashed, stabbed and killed by robbers in front of the police. More worrying, it happened in a gated community, supposedly safe.

But all our politicians are interested in saving their own asses, not doing things in the interests the rakyat. They are supposed to go to Parliament to debate, make and amend laws but instead they go to Parliament just to curse around.

The good politician got scolded by his own party members for doing something which was right, while the bad politician who made very racist remarks got the backing of the whole state party behind him.

Can someone tell those fucking politicians and say, "Hey, stop this crap. Do your work. Properly."

Mirror

People always think I'm defensive.

People think I have no common sense.

People think I'm just bull.

But I always ask myself, "Is it me or is it THEM?"

Malay Dilemma: A Fencesitter's Point of view

A lot has been said about the Malay Rights whether it should be maintained or it should be abolished. A point to make on this issue: the Malay Rights had been a ‘social contract’ between the majority Malays and the non-Malays in exchange for the non-Malays to get citizenship based on jus soli principle. This was agreed when Malaya then was about to gain independence from the British.

Examples of Malay Rights are the quota system in education and in companies, financial help, priority in getting government contracts, etc.

The Malay Rights was a good idea then when the Malays, in general do not have the upper hand in economy, finance and education compared to the non-Malays, especially the Chinese. To ensure political stability in the country, it has been agreed upon that Malay Rights should be granted in order to have some ‘equilibrium’ in Malaysian society. That had been the understanding then and it was enforced again with the introduction of the New Economy Policy (NEP) for the Malays after the May 13^th riots.

The idea of Malay Rights was a good one, which is to help the Malays in getting out of the poverty they were associated with, and to a certain extent to help them to be in the same playing field with the non-Malays. After that, it should be expected that the Malay Rights to be removed gradually as they start to develop themselves.

However, the Malay Rights had been ‘stated’ by political parties like UMNO, that Malay Rights is a right and cannot be questioned on the grounds that it is something that has been engraved into the Federal Constitution. It is true that the Malay Rights is inside the Federal Constitution, no doubt about that. But the Malay Rights has become a restriction for the non-Malays to progress too. Giving rights is one thing and restricting is another.

I’ll give you an example. There are two students. One is Malay and another is an Indian. Both of them go through the same education path by going for primary and secondary school, plus having Form 6 as their pre-U studies. Both did very well in their exams, let say 4 A’s (straight A’s) and have good extracurricular studies. Both of them wanted to pursue medicine, which has a very limited space in local universities. If the system could only choose one of them, they would pick the Malay student. This is called privilege. What if the Malay student have only 2 A’s? This is where the restrictive part comes in. The Malay student gets the offer instead of the Indian student even though the Indian has better results. Also contributing to it is the very restrictive nature of the quota system for non-Malays, only giving 10% of the places allocated. It should have been at least 30% of the allocated spaces. Reason for that is that the composition of non-Malays in the country is roughly about 40% of the population. Putting only a 10% of places in local universities makes a strong negative statement on our multi-cultural society.

When only 10% of non-Malays are only selected into the local universities, no wonder most of the non-Malay families are aching their backs off to send their kids to private colleges and foreign universities. Those are the lucky ones. There are even some who don’t have enough money to buy a plane ticket. It just pains me to see that so many hardworking kids did not get what they deserved just because of a restrictive policy.

That is the problem about the Malay Rights: giving to people who are not supposed to get it but gets it because of the term ’Bumiputra’ in his or her IC. That should not be the case. We should not deprive the non-Malays of opportunities just because of over-restrictive nature of Malay Rights.

But I have to admit that there is a certain degree of success of the Malay rights. More Malay people start to appreciate the value of good education. I’ve seen brilliant Malay minds. I’ve seen very hardworking ones when I was in Matrikulasi and they are as hard working as any other hardworking person.

As for the business sector, I have no comments as I have no sound knowledge in that field. But what I can say is that, seeing the amount of money invested into helping the Malays, only a few managed to be successful. Why? Have a look at the building industry. Many contracts are given to Bumiputra contractors by the government. However, only a small percentage does the constructing work themselves. Instead of doing the projects properly on their own, they sold off their tenders to another contractor (mostly non-Bumiputra contractors) for a quick buck. In the end, the intent of helping Bumiputra contractors to gain experience in the construction industry goes to dust.

After 30 years since the first implementation of the NEP, there is still no concrete evidence that the Malays had gained the success rate that Malays should achieve. If this were the case, we have to look the reason why NEP does not work. Are the strategies applied not relevant? Is it the lack of management organisation? Does the privileges given helped? Is the implementation faulty? Or just plain UMNO giving out contracts and incentives to their own cronies? These are the critical questions we have to answer. Giving special privileges must come with a degree of success.

According to an opposition MB, he stated that only the ones within the inner circle of UMNO will benefit from the NEP. It seems that NEP is helping the UMNO Malays and not the average Malay person who are in need. If it is so, we have to kick out the cronies and start giving out to deserving people who need it most.

One consequence of the over-zealous implementation of Malay Rights is the loss of brilliant Malaysian non-Malay minds to other countries. Malaysia has dedicated about 20% of its annual expenditure on education, among the highest in the world but ends up wasting their resources to other nations. Why? Most of these great minds are hindered by the bureaucracy in the government sector and quite frequently racist policies made by over-restricting the quota for non-Malays in education and in research and development. Most of these people are willing to work for less pay. But what they cannot stand is the restrictions imposed on them.

Another point is to abolish Malay rights altogether. This has been in my mind for years: pro or con? There are questions in my head that needs a definitive answer before making such a decision. What will happen if Malay Rights are to be abolished? Would this cause the Malays to lose their dear political strength to make up for their economical weaknesses? If that happens, would there be political instability in the country? What socio-economic changes will we see when that happens?

The reason why Malay Rights are here is because the Malays fear to become the aborigines, the Red Indians in their own country, being the one with no power, oppressed and having limited rights. If the Malay Rights are to be removed, what safeguards they have in order for them not to be in same position as those two? Malays are very sensitive people when it comes to this issue. They fear to become slaves in their own soil. The fear is still in their hearts, even after decades of independence.

But we could not blame 100% for them being this way. This fear is also at the hearts of other races. If Malay Rights are to be removed, the Malays will certainly say that in a sense, the non-Malays have more rights. How? The existence of Chinese schools and Tamil schools. Try removing those two schools out. You will surely see riots and demonstrations within 24 hours. I suppose that last time people do not make a big puss about Malay Rights because the Malays get to have what they want and non-bumis got what they want too, generally.

I've heard from someone that the existences of Chinese and Tamil schools are guaranteed by the Constitution. I'm not sure about that, so I'm only going to say is that if it is true, then removing Malay Rights would virtually be irremovable, if not only to be slightly restricted.

I personally think that we will never reach a conclusion unless both sides are willing to let go of their privileges. The Chinese and Tamil schools must go, only then they can start talking about removing Malay Rights.

When we try to balance one, the other would offset itself. Like Malay Rights, during its conception changes its socio-economic atmosphere, so does when it is removed.

Personally, I don’t know how this should be addressed, but I think that one day the Malay Rights should be totally removed. But not today with a complete removal of Malay Rights but instead as I mentioned earlier that the rights should be gradually removed as they progressed.

But one thing for sure, I oppose the over-restrictive and over-zealousness nature the Malay Rights had become. Privileges and restrictions are two different words. What should be something constructive has become an object of oppression to another. We have to remember that we not just uphold the welfare of the Malays, but also our fellow non-Malays. After all, we are all Malaysians.

Has anyone ever thought of this?

Whenever a person ask you what Malaysia is, you’d say she is a multi-racial country. That is a big lie. We Malaysians have been living through racial segregation, no matter they were Malay, Chinese, Indian or other races. Our country has three different types of education system which is divided to the national school (so-called), Chinese and Indian. I think no other country has this type of system. Mostly Malays would go for the national schools, Chinese for Chinese schools and Indians for Indian schools. Amazing, we already segregate ourselves since childhood. I personally think that our education system is fucked up, with students being brainwashed by their schools to be loyal to their race when in actual fact what we need to do is to be loyal to our country. Don’t say it’s UMNO’s fault 100% – other parties are equally to blame too. MCA, MIC, Gerakan, DAP, Keadilan: no exceptions, all of them are defined by racial lines. I was told by my friend that Chinese schools are no different. Best part was that he studied in a prestigious Chinese school.

Well, you may argue, "Hey, it’s just different mediums of language, not races." Technically you are right. But in reality, it is segregation.

Go to local universities. Have a look. You'll see the Malay group, Chinese group, Indian group, lain-lain group but rarely will you see a 'muhibbah' group. Walk around in shopping malls. You'll see what I mean.

So, the answer to the solution: Abolish the Chinese and Indian schools and incorporate them into the national school system. Make Bahasa Malaysia and English as compulsory language subjects. Then, make every student to take up an additional mandatory language subject: either Mandarin, Tamil, indigenous languages like the Iban language, or other widely used languages. Plus, have two tiers of proficiency: basic (for those who are not familiar) and advanced (for those who already have basic knowledge). More emphasis will be given in speaking than writing, therefore making the language more useable in the future instead of just being another subject.

To be fair, this move will certainly be an unpopular move. The Malays would be shouting that their Malay Rights are breached, the Chinese and Indians would should this would be some Malay-supremacist move or a way to destroy their mother tongue and a form of keeping the non-bumi's as second class citizens. Political parties would harp onto the issue, quickly using the race card to get popular support.

But remember this: sometimes the wisest moves are not the most popular. Civil rights of coloured people were once a very unpopular subject in the US, particularly the South. Abolishment of slavery was in the past too was a highly unpopular move in UK and the US.

Unpopular as it may seem to the narrow-minded people and political parties or maybe a certain majority of the public; this must be done in the foreseeable future. We may not have any racial riots now, but we are already feeling the tension.

Being a "rojak" isn't great sometimes

Being a person of mixed heritage, have you ever been condemned by both races you originate from? Well, I did and I really see the inner demons of some people. Quoting my friend, "No matter what, there will still be racism" rings true in my head frequently. You will see how racist both sides would be, whatever race they originate from.

In secondary school, my friends always joked about me being a step closer to having a "muhibbah kid" and May 13th jokes. Those are the good jokes, and still do. There were also bad times and sometimes you are just mad about some people who do not really understand what they talk about.

My first racism encounter was in a public bus on my way back home. I was sitting when an old man came into the bus. I practise the habit of offering seats to the elderly, disabled, pregnant or the ones with young kids (unfortunately, I rarely use public transport nowadays). Being a concerned citizen, I gave him my seat. He thanked me in hokkien and then mumbled something which i don't understand. So I nicely tell him that I can't speak hokkien. He went ballistic, "You don't know how to speak hokkien ah?" "Can speak other dialects?" "Mandarin?" I said no. He then asked, "You chinese or not?" I told him that I'm of mixed parentage. I could tell that his face was a bit sour, but he did not go further about it. But he gave me a lecture about the importance to speak chinese, the whole journey.

As I went through my later secondary years, I still remember what my chemistry teacher told me that I'll have identity issues about where I belong to. True, but I do not really care about it now.

I can still remember a 10 year old malay kid saying "apa budak cina kat sini?" in front of my cousin and me. My cousin told that kid that I'm his cousin and I'm Muslim, that kid's face changed from a grumpy face to a smiley. Seriously, I really felt like giving a tight slap for making such remarks and being so impolite to people.

Another experience was when I was attending orientation for my matriculation programme. I was at the surau when a guy came up to me and said, "Ko sesat ke?" I replied back, "Kalau dah duduk sedap kat surau ni, ko tau lah". He apologised after that. Another was a bunch of chinese dudes who just ignored me when I wanted to talk to them just because I can't speak their mother tongue and the fact I have malay blood. Wtf?

Looking back, I see it as a blessing in disguise. I see how racism works, what it does and where are the problems here. I see the ugly faces of people. I see that how fucked up Malaysia has become - a 'supposedly' a multi-cultural society which all races live in harmony, that's bullshit. That is just a cover to cheat those tourists off their money, and a good way to lie to ourselves that we are. C'mon, our political parties are communal based, either the government or the opposition. Our schools are racially segregated. Go outside town and you can still see that there are still people who think more highly of China or India instead of being patriotic to our country. There are still people who looked at non-bumi’s as scum, saying that they regret giving jus soli citizenship to non-bumi's.

I hope one day all of this would be just history text books for our kids and grandchildren to study on. Then we truly deserve the title live in harmony.

A Day Trip - Kind Of

I've always been telling Yuffie that one day I'll bring Irfan out for some ice cream or something like that, and we'll get some weird stares from people with their "So young they have a kid already" look. LOL. Yuffie had another in mind, "When they see me, they'll be wondering how the 'mummy' can still stay slim even after giving birth." PERASAN. So yesterday, I got to bring him around with Yuffie, minus the ice cream.

That kid has some way of knowing things around him. Yuffie told me, that kid knows when he’s going out. So he took an early nap before going to One Utama. When I met him there, he was like shouting at his top of his voice, asking him great-grandma to wear the heels he recommends. His great-grandma and his mak ngah have to go for some womanly shopping, so I and Yuffie strolled around with him.

He was damn energetic. He was relatively pointing at every single thing he sees. After some time, he was a bit cranky because he doesn't like to be in the stroller, so we had to carry him around. Scary stuff. When Hanna and Faiz (my youngest two siblings) were just babies, they don't usually move around much when I carry them. Irfan (that is the boy's name), on the other hand cannot stop moving. He'll be twisting himself around because he wants to look around, making me a bit scared holding him. But after a while, I was okay about it.

Overall, it was fun. I think I saw some weird stares from people looking at us. XD

Food for Thought

Raja Petra Kamaruddin posted on his blog with the topic, "Halal and Haram". To be honest, I believe he was giving the wrong message: generalisation of Muslims being a liar, a hypocrite and blasphemous, although what he wanted to do was to show how hypocritical some Muslims are and obviously trying to convey a political message about our politicians. However, there may be some people that were misguided in knowing what Islam is.

I always wanted to correct people’s misconception about Islam but I never had the guts to do so as I am really not well versed in my faith. If I am wrong, please correct me with proper references.

I would like to straighten things up about some things he mentioned:

1. Islam does not allow a Muslim to eat pork. But in dire circumstances, we can do so. To touch a pig is not haram (sinful). You can touch a pig or a dog, it is just that you have to samak the 'touched' areas. Samak means washing your hands with a one part mixture made up of water and clay; six parts water in order to purify oneself from the ‘filth’. Conclusion, you can touch. No sins. Just clean up after you touch.

2. Islam does not discourage a Muslim to wish friends "Merry Christmas and other religious festivals". There is no wrong in doing so, plus it is good to have to relations with people of other religions - it is a good practice to wish other people as our intentions is to maintain good relations with other people. Islam encourages good practices as long it is within the Quran and Sunnah.

I am not well conversed in my faith but I do not like the way Raja Petra Kamaruddin is doing. What he should do was is to mention that the one these are the "oddities" of certain Muslims. He should then correct it with the proper Muslim interpretations and practices as stated in the Quran and Sunnah.

All this while my fellow non-Muslim friends get the wrong message: things like the hijab, women in society and etc. about Islam and I feel that I should at least correct some of them within my limited knowledge in my faith.

Religions are good in nature; it is just some people who would just tarnish the good name of religion. If I'm just as blunt as the others, I could just say that 600 years ago, Christians were just as bad during the Crusades with the Pope, being the religious icon and head, was the most corrupted person on the planet then by having mistresses, out-of-marriage children, power hungry, ordered 'hit jobs' to consolidate his power and so forth. But no, I think that it is just some people, no matter past or present were just capitalising on religion and unfortunately, the Pope then was one of those people who capitalised religion for their own personal gain.

If religion was put to good use, good things would happen. Look at the late Pope John Paul II, he had good qualities. He managed to bring people of other religions closer and he forgave the person who tried to kill him, not many can do that.

Muhammad S.A.W made fundamental changes to Arab society. First, he actually helped to bring the whole Arab people together, an achievement as in general, Arabs then were very brutal and have affiliation to their own tribes. Before his time, women were no more than "sex toys" to men. After Muhammad’s time, women had more rights than they ever had before. Women then had the right to divorce as to just men who could do that. The rituals’ sacrificing young newborn girls (something which was very common then as having a female then was considered bad luck) is no longer practised.

To get things straight, honour killings – the ones practiced by people in the Middle East region is not, I REPEAT, an Islamic practice. It is just Arab culture, which in my opinion is wrong and should not be practised at all.

To my friends out there, just make sure you understand properly about other religions before bashing someone. That will show how ignorant, hypocritical and shallow you are, making no different than the hypocrites.

Whine-ings

Came down to KL to settle some stuff about the re-sit (or refer as my dad says it). I can only start applying in mid-July, in person at Taylor's. Met Mr. Joseph and I told him that I have to re-sit a paper. He sounded surprised, saying that I'm one of the consistent ones in the class (flattering, but useless though since I failed). He gave a suggestion that I could try applying for the visa now and ask them for a pending in application - meaning I will only be eligible for my visa provided I have the letter from the University.

My dad called me this morning and tell me that I should ask PTPTN whether:
1. I'm eligible for the loan
2. I can use the loan for overseas study
3. What is the quantum of the loan

Speaking about loans, scholarships and applications, I'm quite sick of hearing those words now. These words are the ones I've been listening to for the past two years. Every time a holiday pops out, my dad would surely mention me about it. For your information, I am not a brilliant student unlike my sister who had achieved good grades and she got herself into UM, my dad's alma mater. Why bother applying for scholarships when my results are like ^^^^?

I've been reminding myself that I have to start studying for the re-sit but my sub-conscious mind has been telling to not to. I don't know exactly why, I have not touched a single criminal book and I really have a feeling in my gut that it is going to stay that way for some time. I even have Yuffie to tell me to start studying now, and just as I thought I am not bulging from my "I don't want to study" mood.

I'm currently filling up my very spare time by listening to songs and doing all the gardening (half-way) and watching football till 5 in the morning. All of them non-productive.

Madness? Madness? This is.... Shit!

I laughed at myself when I checked my results, not believing on what I saw. I failed Criminal law. Of all papers, Criminal! That subject had my highest form of research and studies. I read the textbooks, nutcases and all that crap. In addition, I made myself good notes to remember cases and principles.

I guess being panic-key during the exam was the main factor. My brain suddenly got blur and the all so simple principles was all forgotten in that bloody two hour period. Came out with the answers not completed, but I never thought that I'd fail that paper. I was wrong. Hahahaha.

Worst of all, the re-sit is from 28th August till 5th September. That means I have to rush like hell when I apply for my student visa. Great, it always has to be last minute every time.

Well, que sera sera. What will be, will be. Now I'll just have to bear all the nagging and emotional distress from my parents saying, "Why you fail? Why? Now have to re-sit and the marks will still be at 40%." "And now you have to rush to apply your visa." Bla. Bla. Bla.

Not to mention my uncle's insult upon me like he did when I got my matriculation results. "I know you never study. I know. My friend's son, who was in the same college with you said you always play, never studies..." In my life, I never had a decent compliment from my family. It is either I never realise about it or there was never a compliment. My siblings and cousins deserve better treatment, though I'm not going to complain on that point.

That brings me on to another point: my mum. She loves to call my name where ever she is. "Daniel, please wash the Dishes!”Daniel! This!" "Daniel! That!" It does not matter where or what I do. All she cares is me doing what she asks me to do. Even if I’m so far away and my siblings are right close to me, she'll call me. My mum has this habit of whining about doing work, "Ohhhh, I dah pening kepala". I don't mind doing the chores but this is insane. No one else is doing the work except me and Sarah. Don't even mention about Imran, Hanna and Faiz. Ask them to do something is like asking God to drop money from heaven. One can hit the piss-o-meter when your mum ask you to do work and she's sitting on the sofa watching her Korean dramas laughing together with Hanna.

Well, happy enjoying myself for the next few months. Surely it is going to be a pleasant one. *Sarcasm*

Well, this is it.

A blog. A post to be posted. More words. More time typing.

Hopefully I could keep on writing and its not just some one off.