Being a "rojak" isn't great sometimes

Being a person of mixed heritage, have you ever been condemned by both races you originate from? Well, I did and I really see the inner demons of some people. Quoting my friend, "No matter what, there will still be racism" rings true in my head frequently. You will see how racist both sides would be, whatever race they originate from.

In secondary school, my friends always joked about me being a step closer to having a "muhibbah kid" and May 13th jokes. Those are the good jokes, and still do. There were also bad times and sometimes you are just mad about some people who do not really understand what they talk about.

My first racism encounter was in a public bus on my way back home. I was sitting when an old man came into the bus. I practise the habit of offering seats to the elderly, disabled, pregnant or the ones with young kids (unfortunately, I rarely use public transport nowadays). Being a concerned citizen, I gave him my seat. He thanked me in hokkien and then mumbled something which i don't understand. So I nicely tell him that I can't speak hokkien. He went ballistic, "You don't know how to speak hokkien ah?" "Can speak other dialects?" "Mandarin?" I said no. He then asked, "You chinese or not?" I told him that I'm of mixed parentage. I could tell that his face was a bit sour, but he did not go further about it. But he gave me a lecture about the importance to speak chinese, the whole journey.

As I went through my later secondary years, I still remember what my chemistry teacher told me that I'll have identity issues about where I belong to. True, but I do not really care about it now.

I can still remember a 10 year old malay kid saying "apa budak cina kat sini?" in front of my cousin and me. My cousin told that kid that I'm his cousin and I'm Muslim, that kid's face changed from a grumpy face to a smiley. Seriously, I really felt like giving a tight slap for making such remarks and being so impolite to people.

Another experience was when I was attending orientation for my matriculation programme. I was at the surau when a guy came up to me and said, "Ko sesat ke?" I replied back, "Kalau dah duduk sedap kat surau ni, ko tau lah". He apologised after that. Another was a bunch of chinese dudes who just ignored me when I wanted to talk to them just because I can't speak their mother tongue and the fact I have malay blood. Wtf?

Looking back, I see it as a blessing in disguise. I see how racism works, what it does and where are the problems here. I see the ugly faces of people. I see that how fucked up Malaysia has become - a 'supposedly' a multi-cultural society which all races live in harmony, that's bullshit. That is just a cover to cheat those tourists off their money, and a good way to lie to ourselves that we are. C'mon, our political parties are communal based, either the government or the opposition. Our schools are racially segregated. Go outside town and you can still see that there are still people who think more highly of China or India instead of being patriotic to our country. There are still people who looked at non-bumi’s as scum, saying that they regret giving jus soli citizenship to non-bumi's.

I hope one day all of this would be just history text books for our kids and grandchildren to study on. Then we truly deserve the title live in harmony.